- Are you struggling to develop a new better relationship with the co-parent of your minor children?
- Are your children exhibiting signs of stress during the period that your family is facing a transition?
- Has a new step-parent or significant other raised new difficulties in what was once a delicately balanced and working co-parenting relationship?
- Are you and your children’s co-parent struggling to decide what should be the new Parenting Plan or how to implement the plan that has been ordered by the Court?
- Has the Court determined that you or the co-parent of the minor children are unable or unwilling to protect the children from the stresses of the litigation embroiling the family?
- Have you or your children’s co-parent requested to relocate outside of the area of your parenting plan and need assistance developing a new parenting plan that will work over a long distance?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may find that a Co-Parenting Coach may be helpful.
Divorce does not have to be harmful to children. Many parents find a way to peacefully transition from one to two households. These parents work cooperatively to raise healthy and happy children. However, all studies show that high conflict in a divorce or following the divorce process is harmful to the children.
The more peaceful the transition to separate households and the more parents can work towards co-parenting the better the outcome for the children. This is the goal, but it often takes time to attain a new co-parenting relationship. The emotional turmoil of the divorce often carries over to the post-divorce relationship making co-parenting difficult and affecting the welfare of the minor children.
What is Co-Parenting Coaching?
Co-parenting coaching is a form of alternative dispute resolution that brings the parents together to work with a skilled professional to develop a new co-parenting relationship. During the transition, the parents will often work on parallel parenting while bringing a sense of calm to the parenting relationships. As a Co-Parenting Coach, we can act as a buffer for the communication between the parents while working on developing appropriate communication skills. Children must be shielded from any parental alienation and our role as the Co-Parenting Coach is to ensure that the children are allowed a loving relationship with both parents.
We work with parents to learn new communication skills and priority-setting skills to reduce conflict within the family. Children should never be caught in the middle and we work to ensure that the rights of the children are respected. We always view our job as only being as involved as is necessary to transition to a healthy co-parenting relationship. We often use special technology such as computer programs for communication to eliminate abusive communications and bring a sense of calm. We can also monitor the Court orders related to the Parenting Plan to ensure that the parties understand what is expected of them.
It is important to understand that as Co-Parenting Coach we are acting as a Neutral Facilitator and not as an advocate for either parent. We are not legal representatives and do not provide legal advice to any party in the litigation. We will often work with legal counsel, if available, to help the parties develop and implement their parenting plan. We are also not a mental health expert and do not provide counseling to the parties or the children. Again, we may work with mental health experts if one is assigned to the case or retained by the parties. The services of a mental health expert is often extremely helpful for the children to provide them with a safe, confidential place to process their struggles with the family transition.
How Do You Select a Co-Parenting Coach?
If both parents believe that a Co-Parenting Coach would be helpful for your family, you can work together to select a Co-Parenting Coach. You both will have to decide the process for paying the coach and work with the coach to decide how best to move forward. This process is not as formal as a Court Appointed Parenting Coordinator. If you and the other parent cannot agree to engage in co-parenting coach you may find having the court appoint a Parenting Coordinator to be helpful. Our local jurisdiction has a list of qualified Parenting Coordinators. (Click here for a list of qualified professionals in the 12th Judicial Circuit.)
How We Approach Co-Parenting Coaching.
We know that raising children can be both rewarding and incredibly stressful. And addressing the problems of co-parenting in court is the least efficient and most anxiety-causing recourse available. Placing your children in the middle of litigation is both harmful to the children and destructive to the long-term ability to establish a healthy co-parenting relationship. It is also almost impossible to obtain hearing time in front of a Judge or Magistrate in a timely manner to address the daily needs of parenting. Even if you can obtain a hearing in front of the Court, the resolution will often leave one or both parents disappointed and feeling unheard.
We consider education to be the most important tool in the toolbox as a Co-Parenting Coach. We work with parents to learn new skills and means of communication to raise healthy, loved children. We advocate for the children’s rights to have a healthy relationship with both of their parents. We also work with parenting educators, mental health counselors, anger management experts, and other professionals in the area to ensure that the needs of each family are met.