Category: women

Women Bring Something Different to Negotiations

swanee hunt Swanee Hunt, Former Ambassador to Austria

I was driving back from the grocery store this morning and listening to CNN’s Fareed Zakaria GPS show.  He had a group discussion that made me wait for the conclusion of the segment before taking my groceries into the house.  The topic was international peace negotiations with the lead guest being our former Ambassador to Austria Swanee Hunt.  She was discussing a peace negotiation that she had been involved with to bring peace to the Balkans.  I was particularly interested in this as I was working with the UNHCR in Croatia during this same time.  The negotiations had been very difficult and complicated.  When the day came to sign the agreement finally reached she said she looked out at the room filled with men in grey suits and it hit her.  Perhaps it was the lack of women at the table that made the negotiations difficult.  When she then discussed with women around the world why they were not included she was told that the warlords did not want the women there because they “would be more likely to compromise”.  After all the men with the guns had a specific agenda and they wanted to negotiate from a place of power and the women had different priorities.

In fact, the women did have different priorities, and these included peace, security for their children, and the ability to provide their family with stability, education and health care.  This is not to say that many men don’t also have these as priorities for their society but the political and military men who were negotiating for land, rights to assets and power were not the men that may have these priorities.  The results are that the international negotiations are too often inclusive of only one group, the ones with the guns that benefit from war or at least “power negotiations”.  As was discussed in the piece on GPS, this too often make negotiations difficult and the agreements reached tenuous.

The lessons to be learned from this piece struck me hard.  Almost all of the negotiations that I am involved in on a daily basis do include women as they mostly involve family negotiations and mediation.  However, the participants may approach the negotiation priorities very differently.  It is important to ensure that everyone is clear on the goals of a lasting agreement.  Also, it is important to ensure that all parties affected by the agreement have a voice at the table.  The children are usually not included in the adult negotiations of divorce and sometimes the elder suffering severe dementia or health problems are not included in negotiations that seek to resolve their situation.  However, it is often helpful to have a picture of these “parties” present at the negotiations to keep them “present” while we discuss their priorities.  In more expansive societal negotiations, whether it be community relations, politics or international peace negotiations, it is critical that we include representatives from all aspects of the society at the table.

For more information on Swanee Hunt and her programs to include women on an international scale, please visit her website https://www.swaneehunt.com/

Knowledge is the Key to Great Negotiations

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn’t have to ride around with jerks.  

Scott Adams, American cartoonist

I am thrilled to be facilitating a workshop at the 21st Annual Conference for ADR Professionals: “Expanding Our Horizons” on August 9-10, 2013, at the JW Marriott Grande Lakes in Orlando, Florida.  My Workshop is “Diversity: Delights and Downfalls”, a session that will explore in particular age and gender issues in mediation.  In preparing for the session, I have been reading a lot of articles and research papers about women in negotiations.

One such article, published a while ago but that came back to my attention with this research is a story that ran on NPR in January 2012: Women’s Car-Shopping Tactics Steer Them Toward Better Deals by Dana Farrington.  The main point of the story was that women were often getting better deals than men in the traditionally masculine realm of car buying.  According to the article, the reason that women are doing so much better at getting good deals in the car dealership is because women over research the event before being approached by the salesman.  Women had researched the details of the car, price, and financing terms and were in fact over prepared for the purchase.  By the time they enter the dealership they are not “browsers” but rather well informed buyers.  Because of this, they are prepared to negotiate a reasonable deal for this substantial purchase.

The reason I bring this up is not to further divide the genders.  Rather, the lesson to be learned here is perhaps the most important  lesson in any negotiation or mediation for everyone.  The most critical time of every negotiation occurs before you enter the room.  The most important investment is the time spent preparing.  Every time you enter into a negotiation the importance of the outcome  should be equal to the investment of your time in preparing.  If you are negotiating what movie you will see with your spouse, you may want to investigate the basic synopsis and reviews of the latest blockbusters.  If you are negotiating the terms of your divorce from your spouse you want to do a lot more research on parenting issues, values of assets and liabilities, income potentials of both of you and your partner.  If you are negotiating an international trade agreement, the research will obviously be incredibly complex and detailed.

As a mediator, the greatest downfall I see in mediation conferences is the lack of preparation by the parties.  You cannot expect favorable outcomes if you do not invest the time in detailed preparations.  This is why you should be as well prepared for the informal mediation process as you would be for the formal litigation process.