“Life is a series of steps. Things are done gradually. Once in a while there is a giant step, but most of the time we are taking small, seemingly insignificant steps on the stairway of life” Ralph Ransom, Artist & Author
Every negotiation follows certain simple steps. We are often not even aware that we are following the steps. Sometimes we may skip a step but I would say this is at our own peril as the side that avoids or ignores a step is at a complete disadvantage. When we were young and in a hurry we may try to climb steps two at a time or jump down steps in even longer leaps. But an adult would always admonish us that it was not safe to miss steps and that we should be careful in using the steps as laid out for us.
In this series of articles I am going to break down each of the critical steps to a negotiation. These steps apply equally to a negotiation that is facilitated by a mediator and to any negotiation that you find yourself in on a daily basis. As a trained mediator I see many parties come to the mediation unprepared and without having gone through these steps. This is a sure sign that the mediation is going to be more difficult and may very well result in an impasse. This is so unfortunate because a little preparation could have saved the time and expense of the mediation and resulted in a signed agreement.
The steps in their simplest form are as follows:
- Identify the issues and the positions.
- Consider both side’s options to resolve the issues
- Research everything
- Establish the ground rules
- Bargain: Look for overlap and ways to resolve the issues that best meet the most concerns of the parties
- Memorialize the agreement
I will discuss each of these steps in some detail in future posts. For a simple “negotiation” like deciding on a dinner menu for the family or determining what time is curfew for your teenager, each step may be simple and require less than a minute. But for complicated issues like a divorce, the dissolution of a family business or resolving an international crisis each step may need painstaking attention and take days or weeks before the parties are ready to move on to the next step. No matter what type of negotiation you find yourself in, a thorough understand of these steps and a willingness to commit the time necessary for each will result in a better likelihood of reaching an agreement and walking away with a deal that each side can live with.