“Civility costs nothing and buys everything” Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

“Be prepared and be honest” John Wooden

One of the most common questions I am asked during an initial consultation with a new client is “how much is this divorce going to cost me?”  I completely understand the concern that most clients have about the financial costs involved in a divorce including the costs of the attorney, other professionals, and the court fees.  There are other costs that you should consider as well, such as the time away from work or family, as well as the emotional and psychological costs to you and your family.  So, the proper question to ask is how can you minimize all of these costs associated with divorce?  Here are my top five suggestions:

♦     Prepare!  The number one thing that anyone can do before beginning the divorce process is research and prepare.  You want to learn all that you can about the process and your options.  You want to learn about options such as mediation and collaborative divorce.  You also will want to also know as much as can about your family’s finances.  A good list of documents that you should have available can be found here.  These are the Mandatory Disclosure documents in Florida and are a comprehensive list of documents that will give you a good picture of your family’s income and expenses.  In addition, preparing a family budget will give you a good idea of your family’s income and support needs after the divorce. You will also want to prepare a list of your family’s assets and their net worth as well as a list of the outstanding debts and liabilities owed by your family.  A good way to consider all of these issues is to prepare a Financial Affidavit form which asks you to consider your income, expenses, assets and liabilities.  (A Florida Financial Affidavit can be found here.)

♦     Fix your priorities.  Everything does not have to be a battle.  If you have children, your first priority should be to shield the children from the litigation and emotional strain of the divorce.  Your next priority should be to move through this process with as little emotional and financial suffering as possible.  It is often easy to let your emotions take control over the process and make decisions out of anger or frustration.  This can often be a costly mistake.  With the goals of shielding the children and obtaining a smooth divorce you can then prioritize the issues of your case easier.  Remember, the less you disagree about, the less the divorce will cost you.  If you find setting your emotions aside as you negotiate difficult, you may want to consider a hiring a counselor or coach to help you through the divorce process.

♦     Negotiate!  The costs involved in a litigated divorce can be staggering.  It is not unusual for a litigated divorce to cost tens of thousands of dollars for each side.  And this does not consider the destructive emotional costs involved in litigation.  The most efficient way to avoid the extreme costs of litigation is to negotiate early and often.  As you negotiate keep in mind your priorities so that you don’t become embroiled in a fight over certain issues simply because your spouse “pushed your buttons”.  It is also important to keep in mind that the research you conducted early will allow you to have a stronger position in the negotiations as you will be well informed about the reality of your family’s financial situation.

♦     Consider alternative forms of resolving the case.  If you and your spouse are able to negotiate effectively alone then this can result in an extremely low cost divorce with the attorneys only involved in drafting and reviewing the agreement and filing it with the court.  If you need more help with the negotiations consider hiring a qualified mediator or collaborative attorney to assist you with the negotiations.   By avoiding litigation, you are eliminating the high costs of depositions, court hearings, expert witness fees, and other fees associated with litigation.

♦     Be conservative with your professional’s time.  If you hire a professional mediator or attorney to assist you with your divorce, you must first ensure that you enter into contract with the professional that outlines exactly how you will be charged.  In almost all cases the contract will detail hourly billing for the professional’s services.  You now have control over how much the professional charges by how much you require of their office.  If your attorney requests you provide documentation required to provide to the other side, then gather the information requested, organize it and provide it to the attorney in an efficient manner.  The same goes for forms that your attorney requests you fill out.  Also, if you have questions, it is often better to keep a list and once a week send an e-mail with the list of questions and a request that you set a time to speak to your attorney to discuss these.  The attorney may be able to answer many by return e-mail or may find that setting an appointment to speak is more efficient.  In either case, your attorney will have an opportunity to properly prepare for the questions and answer them in the most efficient manner.   Also, be aware that many attorneys have paralegals that can assist you with basic work at a much lower hourly rate.

There is no “standard fees” for a divorce in most cases.  And there may be aspects of the costs your divorce over which you do not have control.  In some cases one spouse may be unwilling to negotiate in good faith and want to force the case to a trial.  However, the more responsibility you can take over the aspects of your divorce, the less the overall cost will be.